©2019 by Tawny Voice. Tawny Platis.

Weird And Widowed: 15 Resources For The Rest Of Us

When my husband passed away, I went into survival mode.

For me, survival mode meant utilizing humor and dark comedy in order to create an idea that was more terrible and ridiculous than my actual life. It's in the absurdity of these jokes where I find relief through laughter. I like it when I'm crying and my friends and colleagues are able to make me burst into laughter.

It's not a coping mechanism that's often spoken of in my experience.

But after starting the Death Is Hilarious Podcast, I've found that I'm not the only one making dark jokes to get through the day. I've connected with so many other widows and grieving people who cope in the same way.

This week, I released a special episode on my feed that takes a little dive into the history and necessity of dark comedy. You can listen here or anywhere podcasts are found (iTunes, Spotify, etc.)

I also thought that putting together a list of my favorite resources might be helpful to those grieving and supporting others in their grief. They're not all comedy resources but many of them are.

Are there any I missed? Let me know in the comments below!

Weird And Widowed: 15 Resources For The Rest Of Us

  1. Nora McInerny - The Hot Young Widows Club "The best crappy club you never wanted to join! We started the Hot Young Widows Club over brunch after our husbands died in 2014. We didn't want a support group; we wanted something else. A place where we could be our weird, wonderful, widowed selves without judgment. Turns out, a lot of other people wanted the same thing." Read More Here >

  2. Kelli Dunham - The Hilarity Of Death And Grief "Oh man. Is talking about death and grief in a comedic storytelling way a good idea? Yes. We promise. It really works. Many of our mainstream cultural practices around death have left us inexperienced and awkward in our dealings with death in a way that we aren’t when the body was, y'know, laid out in the parlor. People are (unfortunately) so uncomfortable talking about death that we just don’t talk about it until we are forced to by the death of someone close to us. Kelli is a stand up comic and she lost two partners in five years to cancer. She was forced to talk about it, and talk about it she did! Kelli’s award-winning CD “Almost Pretty” included this piece called Death Comedy Jam, and her next CD, “Why Is The Fat One Always Angry” included a piece called Fun & Games at Widow Camp." Read More Here >

  3. Anjali Pinto - When I Became a Widow at 27, I Used Sex to Survive My Heartbreak "I knew people would have a hard time understanding my approach. Our culture doesn’t provide many examples of women using sex as a tool for self-love, healing, or power." Read More Here >

  4. Catherine Tidd - Confessions of a Mediocre Widow: Or, How I Lost My Husband and My Sanity "Even through the funeral, she says she thought, “Brad would find this so funny.” The funeral took on a life of its own and became more about pleasing her family and his family than what she or Brad might have wanted. “I don’t know anyone who walks away from a funeral and says, ‘Oh, that was great,’” she says." Read More Here >

  5. Marjorie Brimley - After My Husband Died, I Didn’t Know How To Date "My friends laughed along with me when the first photo we pulled up on one widow dating website was of a man who was clearly older than my father. I didn’t want to date a 70-year-old man, but apparently if I was looking to date other people who suffered a similar loss to mine, my options were limited. Where were all the other young widows and widowers? Maybe there just weren’t that many of us." Read More Here >

  6. Life After Loss: 12 Women On Being A Young Widow "I'm sad he is gone, obviously, but people want to act like he was a saint now that he is gone and that just wasn't true. My memories feel complicated." and "Once I realized I had been waiting for my husband to fix problems that belonged to me, I saw the entire history of our marriage differently, and I got to work solving those problems. I like who I became. And I've seen the same flexible strength and courage in other women widowed young." and "When my husband and I married, I knew there was a chance I'd be a younger widow. He had a chronic health condition that ended up killing him at 27. But I don't regret our marriage at all. I went into it with my eyes open and I think even the short time we had together was worth it. It was a good marriage." Read More Here >

  7. Christina Frangou - The Widowhood Effect: What It's Like To Lose A Spouse In Your 30s "At 36, I am a widow. The widowed are two and a half times more likely to die by suicide in the first year of widowhood than the general population. We are, in fact, more likely to die of many causes: heart attacks, car accidents, cancer, many seemingly random afflictions that are not so random after all. There's a name for this in the scientific literature: the widowhood effect." Read More Here >

  8. Susan Donaldson James - Widowed in Their 20s, Couple Finds Love Again "Jordan and I talked about this the first time we met -- never feeling like we could be excited about a person again," said Jessica, now 30. "I liken it to being a parent," she told ABCNews.com. "You love a child to death, but when you have a second child, you don't love them less." Read More Here >

  9. Stacy Feintuch - 10 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Becoming A Widow "Life moves on for your friends. Their social lives will go on without you, too. This is understandable, but it can be difficult and sad to see others moving on while you may not yet be able to do so." Read More Here >

  10. Amy Florian - A Camp For Widows And Widowers Is Surprisingly Uplifting "I hated having to tick off the box marked “Widow.” It sounded like some sort of evil spider, and the very name made people around me uncomfortable. Yet here I was going to a weekend event specifically for widowed men and women, and it was called Camp Widow." Read More Here >

  11. Modern Loss - "Modern Loss is a place to share the unspeakably taboo, unbelievably hilarious, and unexpectedly beautiful terrain of navigating your life after a death. Beginners welcome. This project grew out of two friends’ separate experiences with sudden loss, and their struggle to find resources that weren’t too clinical, overtly religious, patronizing or, frankly, cheesy." Read More Here >

  12. Erica Roman - A Widow's Rage Defense Against Patton Oswalt's Engagement "Comment after comment poured out judgement and disdain. It made me sick. I had to stop reading before I gave in to the temptation to rain fire in response to every comment. Instead I decided to address them here all at once. So, my dear ignorant, judgmental, assholes, this one is for you." Read More Here >

  13. Kelley Lynn - RIP The Life I Knew "Be kind to others who are hurting. Judging them or berating them or dismissing them is not helpful. If you truly dont know what to say, saying nothing is perfectly welcome. Sitting with someone inside of their pain, and just simply letting them feel it, is more valuable than you will ever know. Do that, and you cant go wrong." Read More Here >

  14. Megan Devine - Refuge In Grief "I didn’t want people coming into this world of grief after me to find the wasteland I found. I didn’t want people who truly wanted to help to stop trying because it seemed too hard. I started this work, and I stay in this work, because how we talk about grief matters. How we talk about love matters. And how we talk to each other – matters. I’m proud to be part of the grief revolution." Read More Here >

  15. Christie - Glitter & Grief "Look. GRIEF IS HARD and please remember its OKAY to not be OKAY. Grief is something we will carry with us for life, however, it is possible to find the glitter in the grief. And it is also OKAY to be OKAY again. I always tell myself, if my dad is watching over me… better give him a life worth watching." Read More Here >

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