My Fifth Wedding Anniversary
This August 22nd would have been George and my 5th wedding anniversary.
This time last year, I was struggling with wanting to end my own life because I didn’t think it was worth living anymore. I was in and out of the hospital due to chronic illness for weeks at a time, I was living in a bad neighborhood, I was always about one bad month away from being homeless, I was getting a ton of online harassment about my comedy, and I was isolating alone in the place where I found his body.
We should have been celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary the summer of 2020 but instead I was largely alone and watching the world around me fall apart. Things seemed hopeless. But I stuck it out because my dog, Barbra Streisand (Babbs), has periodontal disease and won't let anyone except me brush her teeth.
Today, I’m narrating a 9 book series based on Greek mythology, a steampunk sky pirate trilogy, and a vampire mafia romance series. I was cast in the Starship Moonhawk series alongside voice actors I’ve admired since childhood. I recently lent my voice over services to the Swindled podcast and made a guest appearance on True Crime Fan Club.
I went viral on TikTok and my videos about dystopian voice acting have been transformed into a digital book alongside an audiobook that will be released in a matter of days. I created one of the only online groups for widow/ers in their 20s and 30s and am hosting our first annual meet-up in San Diego Oct 30-Nov 2 with the “Worst Little Widow” Sara Ontiveros. We’re working on a funny cookbook for grievers together and I’m a sponsored streamer who hosts nightly dark humor centric games on the app Pococha.
My podcast Death Is Hilarious consistently charts in the top 200 in its category in the US and multiple other countries. I recently hired a podcast editor, PR assistant, and two comedy writers.
I’m sharing this with you because there are so many people who are hurting. Sometimes it seems like it’s just one thing after another and life will never get better.
I want you to know that there is always a chance that things can get better- even when you’ve hit rock bottom. And you take that chance away forever if you end your life. It’s ok to not be ok- and it’s also ok to get help. I wouldn’t be here today without the podcasting community and several of my found family members in voiceover. I’m extremely lucky. Not everyone is so fortunate. If you need help, reach out.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
Recognize that newscasters voice?
Barbra Streisand (Babbs) - The smile that saved my life